SPECIALTY-Whatever your dog is good at, like bringing home dead cats or chewing the walls.

BALANCE- Ability to hold coffee, danish, leash, treats and entry form all at once.

CRABBING-What you do when the judge doesn't like way your dog moves.

FORCE FETCH-Dog drops the toy under furniture, scratches at the carpet til you're forced to "fetch" it.

BLIND RETRIEVE-When you can't see the toy under the furniture.

DOUBLE BLIND- Finding two toys under the furniture.

PEDIGREE- Dog food with lots of great coupons.

MULTI-GENERATIONAL PEDIGREE- Something you should have read first.

CGC- Canine Gastrointestinal Catastrophe {aka GAS}

DISTEMPER-Shown by those hot-headed competitors.

TYPE- What your dog has...if you turn down the lights and squint a little.

UTILITY- The kind of vehicle you need to haul around your dogs.

FLY BALL- Neutering.

QUALIFYING SCORE- Justifying the 170.5 you got in obedience today.

HEEL- What you feel like when your dog won't heel during the exercise.

RIBBONS- What you want to cut the other exhibitors into, after their "pet" wins.

BITCH- To complain heartily.

DOG- To chase a judge from show to show in an effort to attain more breed wins.

GUARD HAIR- An activity in which one watches intently as the dog's hair falls out, in clumps, just after entries are mailed.

OVERSHOT- Running so fast as to pass the 1st place ring marker and plow into the judge and the stewards.